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I am tall, attractive, fun, safe wild! Life is fun I am just looking to have some fun with a great girl tonight. So if you like what you see drop me an email lets see if we click. Sweet senior want love people wants for sex So here's the situation: I have decided not to go home for the holidays. My mom wants me to, so does my brother and father. But i do not want to go. I am just coming to the realization that my childhood was extremely insane and abusive and that my mom and i had an emotionally incestuous relationship that puts me in the role of worshiping her while she treats me like shit. It has been this way for a time. About a week ago i decided to "break up" with her and haven't felt better in years. Things are finally making sense and i don't have to pretend like everything is OK between her and i. Also that pretending that everything is fine creates a split in my consciousness which makes me crazy, lethargic, depressed, and so on. On top of all that my dad and i haven't spoken in close to a year. This is because we had a fight which culminated in him pushing me up against a door and putting his hands around my neck. For this he never apologized. My mom has decided that we should all be together for the holidays and wants me to come for 5 days. Since the fight with my dad i have visited once or twice and made arrangements to sleep away from the house, but this time she wants me to sleep there. She has repeatedly brushed me off when i try to talk to her about the fight between my dad and i. Now she expects me to sit across from him and next to her like everything is fine. Even thinking about this made me nauseous all day. I didn't realize it was this that was making me sick until i decided to not go home. The nausea disappeared within minutes. The way she raised me was physiy and verbally abusive and she has never offered an apology, instead choosing to tell me that it was "my fault" that she beat me, yelled at me, ed me names. She was also a martyr type and images of her pop up in my head telling me that i'm ungrateful because she "did this all for me" Despite all this, my decision has me feeling guilt. There is a part of me that feels bad about not going, about "not just letting it all go" and "enjoying the holidays" but i know that if i am there i be super stressed and angry and my stomach problems start up again. So there it is. I guess this post is just to vent and maybe hear some words of support. Or opinions to the contrary if there are any.

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